I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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