Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
pray to the hookup gods
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
