I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She's just so happy...and so naked.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
