Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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