i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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