Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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