I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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