exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
