no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
