you guys were way drunker than both of me
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
