Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
