I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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