I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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