hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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