I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
