All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
