I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
