God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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