i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
