You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
