You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize