Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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