its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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