Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You smell like stripper and shame
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
