Small penises have feelings too.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize