And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
