God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
