Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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