I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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