i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I understand Curling. That high.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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