My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She needs sedatives and a leash
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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