Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
