I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just forgot I was standing up.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
