there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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