Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
