Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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