I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
