Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Every concussion has its silver lining
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Randomize
