I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We got so high we made milksteak
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
