i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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