I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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