all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
