I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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