Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
