she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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