Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
