so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
