Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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