That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
