we have officially lost it.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
