I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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