that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize