I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize