once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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