Moan for me like Helen Keller
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
