I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
