the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Pants are for mortals
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
