hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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