Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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