i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
